Its.All.Pocket.Size.Baybee.

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:06:22 GMT

im exited and scared
nervouse....but bold
shy......loud
week......strong
it kinda feels like everything is being draned
every inch of energy....
how am i goin to work?
i gotta i gotta i gotta....
and theres nuthin elts after that...
well
a kind of rewarding torchure,
is whats up ahead
------x------
i dont wanna go to school =[
(isnt there emoticons on here? im crazy =P )

day four

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:05:16 GMT

Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me

I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe in how

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe in how

You're asking me will my love grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around now it may show
I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me

Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe her now
----------------x------------

lying in a drive way drunk/mel/midnight//lovely?

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:52:29 GMT

hey jude,
dont make it bad
take a sad song,
and make it better
remember,
to let her into your heart
then you can start to make things,
better?

ahhhahjgsuidvnoguhngbva
im so crazy =]

to much

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:08:44 GMT

8 oclock-
she wears her heart safety pinned to her backpack, her back pack is all the she knows.
shot down by straingers whos glances can cripple the heart and devour the soul
Out of her mind the way pushes her whispering
must have been out of her mind
mid-day delusions of pushing this out of her head
maybe shes out of her mind
---------------------------------------------------
i gotta stop doing for every one elts and start doing for me
and if the means doin things for other people because it would make me happy seeing them happy....
then and only then i will do
i wont be takein advantige of no more
and im not goin to keep hinding in this little shell.....
i wont end up like her
i promice my self that

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 16:25:21 GMT

ur dead to me

and some were inside hopes this is fatel

to do list

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 19:21:55 GMT

ah for fuck sakes
how to get rid of a head ach....
mmmm a bath and a hair cut sounds good....
food...
pillows...
a movie....
i gotta redo my nails......have a smoke.....
clean up a bit....
get my head straight....
smoke a j by this time...or later...it dont matter......
i feel set
for what i gotta do

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 01:54:45 GMT

offically been go karting =D
best thing ever!
i wonder what driveings like?

later-my head will be full...

nigh-night
xo

whats good?

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 00:43:11 GMT

the leaves have fallin off the trees...
iv gottin a new apreseation for the colours that cover the ground so thik its like gold
just look around you
and u will see whats good
breathing? evan if u beileve theres nuthing to breath for....
always know that someone loves u...evan if its just one
some of us are so blessed...were so blind to it
takeing everything for granted
not its advantiges...
the warmth of a bed/ with pillows to lay ur head...blankits to wrap urself in....evan if theres no one there to shair the heat...
know that someone out there is cold/but dont feel bad/feel blessed and give a lil bit to charity if u do
smile at everyone/it could change there life
u never know
what could happin tomarrow
so dont dwell on all the bad shit
think and know what u have...that some ppl dont
and know whats good
and i know its easyr said then done
but....i just had to rant a lil bit....and try to make myself feel better....
cuz i feel kinda bad
buts its ok
it will always end up ok
xo

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:46:57 GMT

fuck you

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 19:46:11 GMT

i wont let u kill me

and thats the bottum line

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 09:20:05 GMT

fuck no....just sleep....tomarrow will come faster
ilu wifey <3

lovely

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 01:47:23 GMT

Climbed up on the rainbow
Just to see if I'd fall off
I'm a frosted lemon coward
And I don't know how
No don't know to hold you
Without shaking
No I'm not aware of how
I could possibly love you
Without aching
Yes I give you everything
Yes I give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
And so keep the light on before
Ya hop into bed
Cos, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
I saved up all my sunshine
Just to see you more clear
I'm a little short on solar
And I haven't given in
No I'm going to hold you anyway
And I'll do it without shaking
Yes I'll love you always
And I'll do it without aching
Yes I'd give you anything
Yes I'd give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
And so keep the light on before
Ya hop into bed
Cos, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
I give you everything
I give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch my self
I've gotta love myself
And take care
Yeah
Gave you
I gave you
I gave you everything
So I've gotta watch myself
And love myself
And take care
This is your last look
This is your last look
This is your last look
Yeah this is your last look
This is your last look
This is your last look
And so keep the light on before
Ya hop into bed
Cos, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 01:19:38 GMT

i wonder what the converation would consist of......man he explaind everything so well......if i only took it and ....just took it....all of the words and the days that were spent......fuck!! wear are u now?

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:49:22 GMT

fuck it.... i love my lj to much to make a new one

grin and bear it/

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 09:52:16 GMT

my names leisa jean...for neone who wonders.....
u cant really get to know me from reading my entrees...u gotta spend some time.....
but i warn u.....
it felt like....something was comeing out of me....
my hopes are so high.....ur kiss might kill me...so wont u kill me? so i die happy....
exteirer-fake ur best smile......
but i dont blame u for not understanding......
after all
did u take the time?
u cant judge me on what i wright....its just how i feel at the present moment....
with no escape inside my own head....
whats love baybe?...
so no longer will i give a fuck....
i dont care who thinks what.....
i still love her and im so sick......
so fuckin sick....
and i love how i say this now....
and in the morning im back to beeing me...
but what if im sick of beeing me?
so sick of careing....and letting u get to me...not knowing whats real or not....
u say one thing...act another....but its like no matter what u do im just supposed to understand....without u explaineing...but i just dont get it....i dont know what to beileve....whats in ur head lovely?
stop acting....
im so sick of letting this shit in my head overcome my blessings....
after all...its not that bad.....
the only thing....
is that im so in fuckin love with you...and it kills me that i have to stuff it down every single fuckin day...its not fair....
(and i think this is wear i loose myself....always trying to hide it....hideing myself....(fuck))
then again its not fair to u....that i say this?...that emotional abuse talk really fucked me up......i dont know how to explaine to u wen i try....but maybe i should stop?
i know i know i know.....
just stuff it down....
grin and bear it....
time heals it all
i think this is it.......
its a waste of time feeling bad about it......
so im just goin to stuff it down....
every fuckin day....
as best i can...
just grin and fuckin bear it....
Leisa Jean xO

ps-
mel...
i love ur laugh
emily-
i love ur smile...
jess....oh jess....never loose ur hands....or ur feet =](i can go on forever...but uv already herd it all)

theres more to life then love...and beeing together...
<3
just gotta do it for me now...
its a silly time to learn to swim...wen u start to drown...

oct. 31/2007 -halloween

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 02:34:52 GMT

All living things benefit from your gifts, dear Cancer. Nurturing has always been part of your nature, and is especially so today. But sometimes you lavish more attention on others than you do on yourself. And this benefits no one. You will find that you will have even more of yourself to give when you take the time to fill your own emotional well. Some time off from good works will ultimately be to everyone's benefit, yours especially.

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 01:29:03 GMT

why cant i remember?
whats wrong...
in my head?

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:02:47 GMT

its like ur the ultamit.....
and i just dont make seance

#23

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:03:35 GMT

shit...im sick of not beein able to type what i what to type....beeing scared of what someone might think something means....im so sick of trying to be discreat about how i fuckin feel.....im tierd of fuckin hideing things from my self....trying to change....its driveing me mad!....so im goin to be ruthless and just act like it isnt goin to bug me......y the fuck would u want me to change neways?.....do u evan realize wear im trying to get at? it felt like i had nuthing to loose........so i dont try...evan tho i should...but i do...difrently.......but if u just gave me one fuckin more chance insstead of this cat and mouse shit i would have everything to loose and i wouldnt wanna loose it for the fucking world......because its like....theres this feeling u give me....wen u look at me....like how u use to "6 months ago" -owch- it feels like nuthin elts in the world matters......and theres just so much feeling........

but im just another girl......

and....what am i thinking?

but it dose.....
it dose feel like it could go on forever.......

-leisa-ur nieve ....get smater......

                            BANG!!!-its like a wall.....



is theres something wrong with me?

i dont think i get wear ur comein at........sorry....it was just a vent

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:17:54 GMT

at school.....im so sick =[
still no jess....
but what ever the fuck....
headin home

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:22:49 GMT

i wated up last night
i cryed this morning......
u didnt......so y should i?
cuz ur still on the top of my list? the person in my fuckin head......
ur still the last person i think about befor i fall asleep/next to u or not/
and ur still the first person i think about wen i wake up........
wen i wake up......its like i cant wait to go back to bed.......
its like a heaven i shair only with u........
i swear to god that i would sell my soul to the devil.......
just for one more try........
just once/dosent that say ANYTHING??!?

anything at all?

leisa?

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 00:53:19 GMT

it feels like im not even me any more, i wonder what it is thats making me doubt myself....
it feels like i hit a blank spot....
wear i just cant comprehend anything......
i hate how i bitch and bitch about everything and never try and sort it out
its one of my worser qualities.....
its like.....she just expects me to understand......
im just expected to understand......
it feels like something just smaked me in the side of the head......
or like....walked into a wall or somethin....
maybe if i wasnt so fucking wraped up inside my own head......
i would b able to....
seee!!!
there it is!!!!
the dooouuuubbbtttt....
AAHHHH!!
what did u do!!?!?
stop stop stop!
this isnt working u idoit!
...
but its ok....
its what i gotta change.....
rome wasnt built in a day
and u cant figure urself out in one night.....

leisa-u know/and...she knows/now do what u gotta do/and do it

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 14:15:27 GMT

its 10...
im not mad......
im sick of beeeing mad.....
i just thought.....
....can we talk?.....
but will we get neware?.....
.......
im so nervous.....
the bed shakes......
just.....

i make no seance.....
i think i miss u...
the last entree was a lil harsh....
but im so sick of who i am.......
anger is not my style....
so fuck it.....
im not goin to push u to talk.......
u love me?
i wont evan have to ask......

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 06:49:34 GMT

i wake up......its to early.......
suddenly ur not mine....
i know ur mad...im sorry...but
wait...come back......
and ur gone again....
u rush me to talk.....
do u know what this is about?
iv been waiting all day.....

y cant u just be jessi?

and this is ur "love"
u didnt even listen
well....maybe u did.......and just..........didnt bother to think on it......
i swear im never goin to ask u again.......
cuz all u do is walk away
yay,
love...

ga!

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:14:18 GMT

thers lots to do this weekend.....
pack..
wonderland
party
drink
see everyone....pack some more...drink some more.....
i hope
i get drunk.....
yay school!!
k pce