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[14 Apr 2008|08:01am] |
im exited and scared
nervouse....but bold
shy......loud
week......strong
it kinda feels like everything is being draned
every inch of energy....
how am i goin to work?
i gotta i gotta i gotta....
and theres nuthin elts after that...
well
a kind of rewarding torchure,
is whats up ahead
------x------
i dont wanna go to school =[
(isnt there emoticons on here? im crazy =P )
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| day four |
[31 Mar 2008|09:04am] |
Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe in how
Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me
Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe in how
You're asking me will my love grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around now it may show
I don't know, I don't know
Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me
Don't want to leave her now
You know I believe her now
----------------x------------
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| lying in a drive way drunk/mel/midnight//lovely? |
[29 Mar 2008|12:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
hey jude,
dont make it bad
take a sad song,
and make it better
remember,
to let her into your heart
then you can start to make things,
better?
ahhhahjgsuidvnoguhngbva
im so crazy =]
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| to much |
[21 Mar 2008|08:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
restless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
misery buissness |
] |
8 oclock-
she wears her heart safety pinned to her backpack, her back pack is all the she knows.
shot down by straingers whos glances can cripple the heart and devour the soul
Out of her mind the way pushes her whispering
must have been out of her mind
mid-day delusions of pushing this out of her head
maybe shes out of her mind
---------------------------------------------------
i gotta stop doing for every one elts and start doing for me
and if the means doin things for other people because it would make me happy seeing them happy....
then and only then i will do
i wont be takein advantige of no more
and im not goin to keep hinding in this little shell.....
i wont end up like her
i promice my self that
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|
[29 Dec 2007|11:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
ur dead to me
and some were inside hopes this is fatel
|
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| to do list |
[25 Nov 2007|02:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
ah for fuck sakes
how to get rid of a head ach....
mmmm a bath and a hair cut sounds good....
food...
pillows...
a movie....
i gotta redo my nails......have a smoke.....
clean up a bit....
get my head straight....
smoke a j by this time...or later...it dont matter......
i feel set
for what i gotta do
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|
[20 Nov 2007|08:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
offically been go karting =D
best thing ever!
i wonder what driveings like?
later-my head will be full...
nigh-night
xo
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| whats good? |
[18 Nov 2007|07:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nerdy |
] |
the leaves have fallin off the trees...
iv gottin a new apreseation for the colours that cover the ground so thik its like gold
just look around you
and u will see whats good
breathing? evan if u beileve theres nuthing to breath for....
always know that someone loves u...evan if its just one
some of us are so blessed...were so blind to it
takeing everything for granted
not its advantiges...
the warmth of a bed/ with pillows to lay ur head...blankits to wrap urself in....evan if theres no one there to shair the heat...
know that someone out there is cold/but dont feel bad/feel blessed and give a lil bit to charity if u do
smile at everyone/it could change there life
u never know
what could happin tomarrow
so dont dwell on all the bad shit
think and know what u have...that some ppl dont
and know whats good
and i know its easyr said then done
but....i just had to rant a lil bit....and try to make myself feel better....
cuz i feel kinda bad
buts its ok
it will always end up ok
xo
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|
[15 Nov 2007|05:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
fuck you
|
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|
[11 Nov 2007|02:45pm] |
i wont let u kill me
and thats the bottum line
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|
[11 Nov 2007|04:17am] |
fuck no....just sleep....tomarrow will come faster
ilu wifey <3
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| lovely |
[10 Nov 2007|08:44pm] |
Climbed up on the rainbow
Just to see if I'd fall off
I'm a frosted lemon coward
And I don't know how
No don't know to hold you
Without shaking
No I'm not aware of how
I could possibly love you
Without aching
Yes I give you everything
Yes I give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
And so keep the light on before
Ya hop into bed
Cos, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
I saved up all my sunshine
Just to see you more clear
I'm a little short on solar
And I haven't given in
No I'm going to hold you anyway
And I'll do it without shaking
Yes I'll love you always
And I'll do it without aching
Yes I'd give you anything
Yes I'd give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
And so keep the light on before
Ya hop into bed
Cos, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
I give you everything
I give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch my self
I've gotta love myself
And take care
Yeah
Gave you
I gave you
I gave you everything
So I've gotta watch myself
And love myself
And take care
This is your last look
This is your last look
This is your last look
Yeah this is your last look
This is your last look
This is your last look
And so keep the light on before
Ya hop into bed
Cos, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
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[10 Nov 2007|08:16pm] |
|
i wonder what the converation would consist of......man he explaind everything so well......if i only took it and ....just took it....all of the words and the days that were spent......fuck!! wear are u now?
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[10 Nov 2007|05:48am] |
|
fuck it.... i love my lj to much to make a new one
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| grin and bear it/ |
[10 Nov 2007|04:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
guitar hero upstairs |
] |
my names leisa jean...for neone who wonders.....
u cant really get to know me from reading my entrees...u gotta spend some time.....
but i warn u.....
it felt like....something was comeing out of me....
my hopes are so high.....ur kiss might kill me...so wont u kill me? so i die happy....
exteirer-fake ur best smile......
but i dont blame u for not understanding......
after all
did u take the time?
u cant judge me on what i wright....its just how i feel at the present moment....
with no escape inside my own head....
whats love baybe?...
so no longer will i give a fuck....
i dont care who thinks what.....
i still love her and im so sick......
so fuckin sick....
and i love how i say this now....
and in the morning im back to beeing me...
but what if im sick of beeing me?
so sick of careing....and letting u get to me...not knowing whats real or not....
u say one thing...act another....but its like no matter what u do im just supposed to understand....without u explaineing...but i just dont get it....i dont know what to beileve....whats in ur head lovely?
stop acting....
im so sick of letting this shit in my head overcome my blessings....
after all...its not that bad.....
the only thing....
is that im so in fuckin love with you...and it kills me that i have to stuff it down every single fuckin day...its not fair....
(and i think this is wear i loose myself....always trying to hide it....hideing myself....(fuck))
then again its not fair to u....that i say this?...that emotional abuse talk really fucked me up......i dont know how to explaine to u wen i try....but maybe i should stop?
i know i know i know.....
just stuff it down....
grin and bear it....
time heals it all
i think this is it.......
its a waste of time feeling bad about it......
so im just goin to stuff it down....
every fuckin day....
as best i can...
just grin and fuckin bear it....
Leisa Jean xO
ps-
mel...
i love ur laugh
emily-
i love ur smile...
jess....oh jess....never loose ur hands....or ur feet =](i can go on forever...but uv already herd it all)
theres more to life then love...and beeing together...
<3
just gotta do it for me now...
its a silly time to learn to swim...wen u start to drown...
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| oct. 31/2007 -halloween |
[31 Oct 2007|10:34pm] |
|
All living things benefit from your gifts, dear Cancer. Nurturing has always been part of your nature, and is especially so today. But sometimes you lavish more attention on others than you do on yourself. And this benefits no one. You will find that you will have even more of yourself to give when you take the time to fill your own emotional well. Some time off from good works will ultimately be to everyone's benefit, yours especially.
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[30 Oct 2007|09:28pm] |
why cant i remember?
whats wrong...
in my head?
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[30 Oct 2007|04:00pm] |
its like ur the ultamit.....
and i just dont make seance
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| #23 |
[30 Oct 2007|01:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
shit...im sick of not beein able to type what i what to type....beeing scared of what someone might think something means....im so sick of trying to be discreat about how i fuckin feel.....im tierd of fuckin hideing things from my self....trying to change....its driveing me mad!....so im goin to be ruthless and just act like it isnt goin to bug me......y the fuck would u want me to change neways?.....do u evan realize wear im trying to get at? it felt like i had nuthing to loose........so i dont try...evan tho i should...but i do...difrently.......but if u just gave me one fuckin more chance insstead of this cat and mouse shit i would have everything to loose and i wouldnt wanna loose it for the fucking world......because its like....theres this feeling u give me....wen u look at me....like how u use to "6 months ago" -owch- it feels like nuthin elts in the world matters......and theres just so much feeling........
but im just another girl......
and....what am i thinking?
but it dose.....
it dose feel like it could go on forever.......
-leisa-ur nieve ....get smater......
BANG!!!-its like a wall.....
is theres something wrong with me?
i dont think i get wear ur comein at........sorry....it was just a vent
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[30 Oct 2007|11:17am] |
at school.....im so sick =[
still no jess....
but what ever the fuck....
headin home
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